1. Listening to Aaron Rodgers’s fans trying to justify his unexcused absence from mini-camp by comparing his ayahuasca provider to the Pope. We are staunch libertarians on the matter, and even we aren’t buying this bullshit. Dudes, he skipped practice to go do some drugs. Just own it! We’re personally completely cool with Rodgers’s drug… Continue reading Top 10 Moments of the 2024 Offseason (in no particular order)
Tag: Football
Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
We have officially fallen on black days here in New England. The momentum generated by what we thought was a convincing victory over the Bills at home two weeks ago lasted a little less than halfway through the first quarter of Sunday’s matchup with the Miami Dolphins. With 1:48 left in the half, and within… Continue reading Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
Belichick to DeVante Parker: “Why Can’t You Be More Like DeAndre Hopkins?!”
Belichick needs Parker to perform like Hopkins. Why can’t Parker just, like, do it?
Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.
Cowboys linebacker Micah Parsons made some waves yesterday when he suggested, after getting their doors blown off 42-10, that the Dallas Cowboys were really the same caliber of team as the San Francisco 49ers. The Cowboys just needed to “reconsider some things,” Parsons explained, then “get together and fix some things.” What those “things” were… Continue reading Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.
Bill O’Brien’s Offense is Definitely Better Than Matt Patricia’s – Here’s Why
We are now four games into the 2023-2024 NFL season, and closing in on number five. Impossible as it seems, we are nearly a third of the way through the season. It is fair then, at this point, to begin making some preliminary assessments. We believe that there is both good news and bad news.… Continue reading Bill O’Brien’s Offense is Definitely Better Than Matt Patricia’s – Here’s Why
Buffalo Bills to Sports Media: “The Greatest Who On The What Now?”
The sports media have been riding – and hyping – the Miami wave ever since the Dolphins dropped 70 on the Denver Broncos last week. Yes, those Denver Broncos. A team so atrocious that they let themselves get into a 21-point deficit against the Chicago Bears yesterday. Yes, those Chicago Bears, a team so atrocious… Continue reading Buffalo Bills to Sports Media: “The Greatest Who On The What Now?”
Lions to NFL: “We Can Hold Leads Now, Motherf@#&ers!”
We don’t want to speak too soon, but it may be a new era in Detroit. Thursday night, at Lambeau Field, the Lions jumped out to an early lead over the Green Bay Packers, dominating the scoreboard 27-3 by halftime. Normally, anyone familiar with Lions football would not have believed that the Packers had any… Continue reading Lions to NFL: “We Can Hold Leads Now, Motherf@#&ers!”
Sports Media Can’t Decide On Nickname For Joe Burrow
That’s it, we’ve had it. Monday night was the last straw. For three years now, we’ve had to sit through week after week of color commentators bumbling their way through some attempt at christening Joe Burrow with an official nickname. Because apparently, for some reason, they think he has to have one. His elite play,… Continue reading Sports Media Can’t Decide On Nickname For Joe Burrow
College football, Major League Baseball, and Taylor Swift and the Kelce brothers in the NFL on Hang Up and Listen.
Stefan Fatsis is joined by writer Spencer Hall to break down a busy Saturday in college football, including Deion Sanders’ first loss to Oregon. The Ringer’s Ben Lindbergh discusses baseball’s wild-card races, the rise of Ronald Acuña Jr., and the future of Shohei Ohtani. Finally, Slate’s Nadira Goffe and Defector’s Dan McQuade examine Taylor Swift’s… Continue reading College football, Major League Baseball, and Taylor Swift and the Kelce brothers in the NFL on Hang Up and Listen.
HIGHLIGHTS: St. Louis CITY SC vs. Los Angeles Football Club | September 20, 2023 – Major League Soccer
HIGHLIGHTS: St. Louis CITY SC vs. Los Angeles Football Club | September 20, 2023Major League Soccer St. Louis CITY SC Clinch 2023 Audi MLS Cup Playoff Berth | St. Louis SCSt. Louis CITY SC Winning is the easiest, but there are many ways City SC can clinch a playoff spot tonightSt. Louis Post-Dispatch CITYPARK is… Continue reading HIGHLIGHTS: St. Louis CITY SC vs. Los Angeles Football Club | September 20, 2023 – Major League Soccer