That’s “Dad Prescott” to you, Danny Dimes…
Eagles vs. Falcons Recap: Falcons Swoop Into Philly; Toss Eagles Out Of Their Own Nest
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-“
SEAHAWKS V. PATRIOTS GAME RECAP: HAWKS DEFEAT PATRIOTS IN VAGUELY INTERESTING CONTEST
Maybe its just because we’ve gotten used to horribly timed, backbreaking red-zone turnovers…
Bills Stampede Into Miami, Harpooning Dolphins 31-10
Bills to Fish: “Stop acting like you’re as good as us!”
Joe Burrow Does Pats a Solid by Napping Through Season Opener
Joe Burrow is probably gonna have to stop sleeping in on the first day of school…
Top 10 Moments of the 2024 Offseason (in no particular order)
1. Listening to Aaron Rodgers’s fans trying to justify his unexcused absence from mini-camp by comparing his ayahuasca provider to the Pope. We are staunch libertarians on the matter, and even we aren’t buying this bullshit. Dudes, he skipped practice to go do some drugs. Just own it! We’re personally completely cool with Rodgers’s drug… Continue reading Top 10 Moments of the 2024 Offseason (in no particular order)
Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
We have officially fallen on black days here in New England. The momentum generated by what we thought was a convincing victory over the Bills at home two weeks ago lasted a little less than halfway through the first quarter of Sunday’s matchup with the Miami Dolphins. With 1:48 left in the half, and within… Continue reading Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
A Tale Of Two Quarterbacks
No one in New England would consider this to be the best of times, football-wise, but most fans would definitely agree that it has been the worst that we’ve all seen in a very long time. Foolishness, darkness, incredulity, and despair – we’ve had all of these in greater measure over the past couple of… Continue reading A Tale Of Two Quarterbacks
Belichick to DeVante Parker: “Why Can’t You Be More Like DeAndre Hopkins?!”
Belichick needs Parker to perform like Hopkins. Why can’t Parker just, like, do it?
Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.
Cowboys linebacker Micah Parsons made some waves yesterday when he suggested, after getting their doors blown off 42-10, that the Dallas Cowboys were really the same caliber of team as the San Francisco 49ers. The Cowboys just needed to “reconsider some things,” Parsons explained, then “get together and fix some things.” What those “things” were… Continue reading Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.