The sports media have been riding – and hyping – the Miami wave ever since the Dolphins dropped 70 on the Denver Broncos last week. Yes, those Denver Broncos. A team so atrocious that they let themselves get into a 21-point deficit against the Chicago Bears yesterday. Yes, those Chicago Bears, a team so atrocious that they blew a 21-point lead against the atrocious Denver Broncos, allowing Russell Wilson and Co. to launch a comeback and win the game at the eleventh hour. The Dolphins threw down a 70 burger – admittedly a fine achievement any way you slice it – onto the Denver Broncos, and the only thing the sports media saw was “70 points.” They obviously missed the other half of the scoreboard which read, “Denver Broncos.” As they are wont to do, they immediately gave the Dolphins an unoriginal, hype-laden nickname, stolen from a much better team from days past.
That team, of course, was Kurt Warner’s St. Louis Rams – the record-setting, championship winning Air Coryell-style offense of 1999-2001. That team, as mentioned, set records and won a championship, and was only brought down by an upstart New England Patriots team quarterbacked by a young, unknown late draft pick named Tom Brady. Yet, the sports media saw fit to immediately steal its moniker and slap it onto the Dolphins – who, until the 70 pointer against the putrid Broncos, had only beaten both the Chargers and the Patriots by a possession or less.
As it turns out, this all may have been a tad premature. The game belonged to the Buffalo Bills from start to finish. Josh Allen was 21/25 with 320 yards, 3 touchdowns, and 1 rushing touchdown. He boasted an elite 158.3 passer rating, and was never really challenged by Miami’s pass rush or secondary all afternoon. Stefan Diggs scored 3 touchdowns. The Bills rushed for over 100 yards. Meanwhile, Tua went 25/35 for 282 yards and 1 touchdown. Not an abysmal performance. Tyreek Hill was, however, notably held to 58 yards on 3 catches.
Thus, the key to beating the Dolphins is beginning to reveal itself and it is actually unsurprising and fairly simple (not easy, but simple) – shut down Tyreek Hill. The Patriots did this perfectly, but they lacked the offensive firepower to put up enough points to win the game. The Chargers couldn’t do it at all, so Justin Herbert was forced into a shootout with Tagovailoa. Although Herbert is the superior quarterback, Tua has better weapons and coaching. The Bills have both a defense that can suffocate Tyreek, and an offense capable of out-scoring the Dolphins. This is why they won, and it should be the blueprint for every team that plays Miami going forward.
Still, the media, analysts, and commentators need to do something about this stealing of more accomplished teams/players nicknames and slapping them onto modern teams and players today. It is unseemly, uncreative, and lazy. They have tried calling Joe Burrow “Joe Cool,” and now Miami is “the Greatest Show on Turf.” They couldn’t even be bothered to come up with something that was sort of similar sounding but still original, like, how about, “the Greatest Show on Surf?” They are, after all, in Miami. Not perfect, but better than stealing another, historically great team’s nickname because you are too lazy or unoriginal to even make an effort.
The Greatest Show on Surf. The Greatest Flow on Turf. The Greatest Show Not Played By Smurfs?
Hey, at least we’re actually trying.