Joe Burrow is our kind of man. He bleaches his hair. He lets his play do the talking. He dates women who, while certainly slender, don’t look like their kidneys are about to shut down. He has a wardrobe full of hilariously swanky suits. Also, like many of us, he has a habit of sleeping through the alarm on the first day of school.
Sunday’s season opener between the Cincinnati Bengals and the New England Patriots was supposed to be a scheduled loss for the rebuilding Patriots and an easy, cruise-to-victory warm-up lap for the Bengals. Instead, on the morning of the big game, Burrow opened his eyes for a few moments, decided that rookie head coach Jerod Mayo probably needed the victory more than he did, threw a cleat at his phone to shut the alarm off, then rolled over and went back to sleep.
This was very kind of Mr. Burrow because, as matter of fact, he was absolutely correct. Mayo – and the Patriots – did need this win more than the Bengals. For one thing, it has become almost expected for Cincinnati to drop a game or two in September, as Burrow shakes off the rust and cobwebs of the summer. As Patriots fans, we know full well that a couple of games in September are fairly irrelevant for a perennial Super Bowl contender (or, at least, a team expected to make strong playoff runs every year). A team like the Bengals can afford to drop a game or two early and it won’t (or shouldn’t) make much difference to their confidence or bottom line.
In addition, Tee Higgins was out, and top receiver Ja’Marr Chase was playing without a contract. Those two issues will resolve themselves as the season goes on, so neither the Bengals nor their fans need to worry. The Bengals will also be able to use this loss as a splash of cold water to the face, to wake them up as they head to Arrowhead next weekend to face Mahomes and the Chiefs. They will be fully on guard and motivated to face Kansas City so that they may strike back to silence the critics. This loss could very well function as a blessing in disguise for a strong Bengals team that already knows basically what it is and what it can do.
The Patriots, on the other hand, have just started their rebuild. They are in year one of the post-Belichick era. Jerod Mayo is a rookie head coach. DeMarcus Covington and Alex Van Pelt, although experienced coaches, are rookie coordinators and play callers at their respective positions. Jacoby Brissett is a solid, respected veteran, but he is a journeyman who is considered a bridge quarterback, with 2024’s 3rd overall draft pick Drake Maye waiting in the wings. They have a ton of rookies on offense as well as new Special Teams coach Jeremy Springer (who, so far, is doing brilliantly). They have a gauntlet of a schedule and a late bye. Stealing a week 1 victory in Cincy is huge for this team. It allows them to return to Foxborough and face the Seahawks at home next Sunday with real confidence.
The Seahawks were considered the most winnable game of their first four. Instead of starting the season 0-4, it is now conceivable that they might be able to pull of a couple of early victories. With Aaron Rodgers’s less than stellar performance against San Francisco on Monday night, the game against New York also suddenly seems more feasible, even on the road. Especially since the Jets defense is built to stop the passing game, and the Patriots offensive strength is the run. September might not be a total bloodbath after all.
Of course, they still do have to beat the Seahawks, but this victory against the Bengals has allowed them to build some confidence and some momentum going into game 2. They still struggle to score points, but they have clearly improved in key positions, and this game was not about the numbers anyway – neither Brissett nor Burrow cracked 200 yards in the air. This game was about the vibe, the energy, the silencing of critics. It was about having something to prove, and actually proving it.
They absolutely needed this victory more than the Bengals. Kraft and Mayo should send Joe Burrow a dozen roses, along with a sincere thank you note and a dedicated alarm clock. After all, we do want to see Burrow and the Bengals succeed – so Burrow can’t be skipping any more classes.