Week 3 started with me thinking: Is anyone good besides the 49ers and Dallas Cowboys?
The Miami Dolphins and Kansas City Chiefs quickly answered that question by massacring the Denver Broncos and Bears in a non-stop manner. The Dolphins dropped 70 on the Broncos, while the Bears quickly fell to 31-0 in Kansas City.
By the way, the Broncos and Bears meet next week at Soldier Field and the Broncos, who have lost by 50, are open as road favorites. It will only get worse.
Elsewhere, the Buffalo Bills found their groove against the Washington Commanders, Deshaun Watson is still like cat food, and there’s no way Robert Saleh can keep trotting Zach Wilson out there every Sunday.
Here’s where each team stands after Week 3:
- San Francisco 49ers (3-0): Imagine how good the 49ers would be if Brock Purdy’s last name didn’t rhyme with “Turdy.” The Niners are an unstoppable bandwagon right now.
- Miami Dolphins (3-0): The Dolphins are just out there playing Madden every Sunday.
- Kansas City Chiefs (2-1): With Taylor Swift in the fold, the Chiefs worked the Bears like a speed bag. The gap has never been wider.
- Philadelphia Eagles (3-0): Jalen Carter sure looked like a HITS guy Monday night in Tampa.
- Buffalo Bills (2-1): The Bills finally looked like the Bills in Week 3, delivering a much-needed whooping to the Commanders.
- Detroit Lions (2-1): I think the Lions might have something with Brian Branch and Sam LaPorta. Two home-run picks in three weeks.
- Dallas Cowboys (2-1): A bad week that began with the loss of star corner Trevon Diggs took a turn for the worse on Sunday when the Cowboys squared off against the Cardinals. Classic.
- Baltimore Ravens (2-1): This was a surprising loss to the Colts, but the Ravens have been good for a long time. Roquan Smith already has more sacks (1.5) than the entire Bears team this season.
- Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1): After opening the season against two of the best defenses in the NFL, the Steelers get a reprieve on Sunday against the Raiders.
- Cleveland Browns (2-1): Deshaun Watson has a $64 million cap hit starting next season, and he’s playing like a Carson Wentz clone. At least the Browns defense is dominant.
- Green Bay Packers (2-1): They found someone else, didn’t they?
- New Orleans Saints (2-1): The Saints have one of the best defenses in the NFL, but that won’t be enough if Derek Carr is forced to miss a lot of time with a right shoulder injury.
- Seattle Seahawks (2-1): Despite being down two starts in OT, the Seahawks found ways to string together back-to-back wins against the Lions and woeful Panthers. Good teams beat bad teams.
- Tampa Bay Bucs (2-1): The Bucs became the second team in a row to beat the Bears and lose the next week. I thought the Chiefs should be on alert against Zac … oh, not really.
- Los Angeles Chargers (1-2): Someone will get Brandon Staley from Justin Herbert. Now.
- Cincinnati Bengals (1-2): Joe Burrow didn’t look right, but he did enough to pull the Bengals off the mat Monday night. He needs to get healthy stats or the Bengals season will quickly fall apart.
- New England Patriots (1-2): Bill Belichick vs. a bad quarterback? There’s no doubt the Patriots will get in the win column in Week 3.
- Atlanta Falcons (2-1): Desmond Ridder, right?
- Los Angeles Rams (1-2): OK, the Rams might be who we think they are.
- Tennessee Titans (1-2): More than four more starts for Ryan Tannehill? It won’t end. WASHED
- Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2): Is Urban coaching the Jags again?
- Washington Commanders (2-1): Wins over the Broncos and the Cardinals didn’t do it for me. The commanders got a reality check from the Bills on Sunday.
- Indianapolis Colts (2-1): Man, what would the Jets do to get Gardner Minshew from the Colts
- Las Vegas Raiders (1-2): Jimmy G and the Raiders are what we think.
- New York Jets (1-2): The Jets could call up Matt Ryan and see if he’s still interested in helping them out. Having Zach Wilson be the starter for the next 14 games is not entirely sustainable.
- Houston Texans (1-2): It’s a small three-game sample size, but CJ Stroud has been the best rookie quarterback so far. The Texans may have found their franchise signal-caller.
- New York Giants (1-2): Daniel Jones hasn’t thrown for three touchdowns in a game since 2019. Man, $40 million a year can’t buy what it used to do.
- Minnesota Vikings (0-3): How does Carl Williams feel about his son playing in Minnesota? Just asking for a friend.
- Arizona Cardinals (1-2): The Cardinals have been competitive in each of their first three games. The Bears didn’t. One of these teams is tanking.
- Carolina Panthers (0-3): The Bears will finish No. 1 and No. 2 picks, right?
- Denver Broncos (0-3): Is it Jarrett Stidham’s time?
- Chicago Bears (0-3): Hey, at least this week is over. That’s something positive for the Bears to hang their hat on.
Click here to follow the Under Center Podcast.