With all the hockey hullabaloo down in Boston, we’ve been fairly distracted from football so far this season. The drama unfolding on Causeway Street was just too riveting (in a gut-wrenching, looming nightmare scenario kind of way) for us to pull our eyes away for more than a few minutes at a time. Now that… Continue reading Quarter Season Notes: New York Jets Edition – Jets Jetting, Again
Cowboys v. Giants Game Recap: Dak Gets His Groove Back As Cowboys Lasso Giants
That’s “Dad Prescott” to you, Danny Dimes…
Eagles vs. Falcons Recap: Falcons Swoop Into Philly; Toss Eagles Out Of Their Own Nest
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-“
SEAHAWKS V. PATRIOTS GAME RECAP: HAWKS DEFEAT PATRIOTS IN VAGUELY INTERESTING CONTEST
Maybe its just because we’ve gotten used to horribly timed, backbreaking red-zone turnovers…
Bills Stampede Into Miami, Harpooning Dolphins 31-10
Bills to Fish: “Stop acting like you’re as good as us!”
Joe Burrow Does Pats a Solid by Napping Through Season Opener
Joe Burrow is probably gonna have to stop sleeping in on the first day of school…
Top 10 Moments of the 2024 Offseason (in no particular order)
1. Listening to Aaron Rodgers’s fans trying to justify his unexcused absence from mini-camp by comparing his ayahuasca provider to the Pope. We are staunch libertarians on the matter, and even we aren’t buying this bullshit. Dudes, he skipped practice to go do some drugs. Just own it! We’re personally completely cool with Rodgers’s drug… Continue reading Top 10 Moments of the 2024 Offseason (in no particular order)
Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
We have officially fallen on black days here in New England. The momentum generated by what we thought was a convincing victory over the Bills at home two weeks ago lasted a little less than halfway through the first quarter of Sunday’s matchup with the Miami Dolphins. With 1:48 left in the half, and within… Continue reading Patriots Fans Find Selves Trapped In Soundgarden Song
A Tale Of Two Quarterbacks
No one in New England would consider this to be the best of times, football-wise, but most fans would definitely agree that it has been the worst that we’ve all seen in a very long time. Foolishness, darkness, incredulity, and despair – we’ve had all of these in greater measure over the past couple of… Continue reading A Tale Of Two Quarterbacks
Belichick to DeVante Parker: “Why Can’t You Be More Like DeAndre Hopkins?!”
Belichick needs Parker to perform like Hopkins. Why can’t Parker just, like, do it?
Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.
Cowboys linebacker Micah Parsons made some waves yesterday when he suggested, after getting their doors blown off 42-10, that the Dallas Cowboys were really the same caliber of team as the San Francisco 49ers. The Cowboys just needed to “reconsider some things,” Parsons explained, then “get together and fix some things.” What those “things” were… Continue reading Micah Parsons Offers Mathematical Proof That The Patriots Are Just As Good As The 49ers.
Bill O’Brien’s Offense is Definitely Better Than Matt Patricia’s – Here’s Why
We are now four games into the 2023-2024 NFL season, and closing in on number five. Impossible as it seems, we are nearly a third of the way through the season. It is fair then, at this point, to begin making some preliminary assessments. We believe that there is both good news and bad news.… Continue reading Bill O’Brien’s Offense is Definitely Better Than Matt Patricia’s – Here’s Why
Buffalo Bills to Sports Media: “The Greatest Who On The What Now?”
The sports media have been riding – and hyping – the Miami wave ever since the Dolphins dropped 70 on the Denver Broncos last week. Yes, those Denver Broncos. A team so atrocious that they let themselves get into a 21-point deficit against the Chicago Bears yesterday. Yes, those Chicago Bears, a team so atrocious… Continue reading Buffalo Bills to Sports Media: “The Greatest Who On The What Now?”
Lions to NFL: “We Can Hold Leads Now, Motherf@#&ers!”
We don’t want to speak too soon, but it may be a new era in Detroit. Thursday night, at Lambeau Field, the Lions jumped out to an early lead over the Green Bay Packers, dominating the scoreboard 27-3 by halftime. Normally, anyone familiar with Lions football would not have believed that the Packers had any… Continue reading Lions to NFL: “We Can Hold Leads Now, Motherf@#&ers!”
Sports Media Can’t Decide On Nickname For Joe Burrow
That’s it, we’ve had it. Monday night was the last straw. For three years now, we’ve had to sit through week after week of color commentators bumbling their way through some attempt at christening Joe Burrow with an official nickname. Because apparently, for some reason, they think he has to have one. His elite play,… Continue reading Sports Media Can’t Decide On Nickname For Joe Burrow
Patriots Can Stop Shooting Selves In Feet By Watching Bruce Lee
The great Bruce Lee, global action superstar and Kung Fu GOAT, once said, “if you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my… Continue reading Patriots Can Stop Shooting Selves In Feet By Watching Bruce Lee
Josh Allen to Jets: “Don’t Worry Guys – I Got This!”
Josh Allen’s compassionate performance saves the Jets after Rodgers blows his Achilles.
Jets training camp: Assistant coach hospitalized after catching ‘friendly fire’ during joint practice skirmish
Getty Images New York Jets senior defensive assistant/cornerbacks coach Tony Oden left practice on a cart after he fell on the sideline during Wednesday’s joint session with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, according to ESPN. Head coach Robert Saleh told reporters that Oden went to the hospital afterward got a little “friendly fire” during the match… Continue reading Jets training camp: Assistant coach hospitalized after catching ‘friendly fire’ during joint practice skirmish